Wednesday, April 30, 2008

मेरे यार की शादी है ......

Well.... I just got off the phone .... and have I got News?...... It's more than that.....It's really huge.... I never thought this will actually happen one day ...... but then whatever I think about, really happens the other my good friend from College Aman called me up WOOOOF … he said he has a good news…... he is getting married......actually I should say "he is getting married too"

So what’s the story.... You guys might have experienced similar stuff.... two weeks ago my best buddy from School got married, then another friend of mine got married last week. I was involved in all the hulla gulla of the sister was also there and she tells me that she thinks its the right time for her to get married.

I don't know what to say but....Well now she's been in a relationship for last three years and whenever I have tried to talk to her about getting married she has given me a weird cold look...which is her way of saying "NO". I talked to her about this only few months ago and she gave me that cold look. And now just because we are at a wedding she is telling me that she wants to get married. ah... well .... Its kindda funny....

So basically now I am at that stage of my life when I realize that everyone around me is getting married (or is already married); Knowing exactly how my system functions....I am gonna be having really stupid dreams about weddings now.... really, I can see it
: well something like me riding naked on the
घोड़ी that is apparently dressed as a groom ...... or standing alone in a wedding पंडाल ......

Everyone else getting married is OK....because at that time I could tell myself ..."dude are OK....all by yourself.....Look at Aman, he is pretty much the same age as you...... and there is no fucking way that he is gonna get married for at least another 5-7 single ... thats good" .......But with Aman getting married ...... I am gonna have to come up with another explanation.... but quite honestly he was my only buddy, I pretty much believed will be single at least for another 5-7 years....

Just today I was talking to this girl I know from my previous workplace. We started talking about marriage again... seems like thats the hot topic......

Of all the people Aman is getting Married ..... Aman Rai getting married even before the girls from our college group is indeed a news. I happy for the guy...... Congrats Aman

But I still think somehow ....everyone is trying to fool me can be a big joke..... or may be this is just a dream........

Impromptu act

Just then

When I thought it was time,

And me sulked enough

And me smile

For eternal pain over

All me said and all me done

And all my audience passed by

I get my act back,

Me a star, oh! Showbiz throws me back up

I am sad again

I cry again

It’s show time again!!

Wax that melts and drips

And waves that hit the sand

Act for that moment

Call it lust, call it an affair

It ceases as another one emerges

Short lives and short stories

Hearts are crazy machines

And brains make them worse

Humans just can’t get it right

We love drama

All showcased and glossy

Intermissions squeezed in, with popcorn and colas

Just in case they last forever

Don’t I love coming back

And cry over and over

Same bestsellers

Is it just because it’s easy

Or may be its too difficult

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Of addictions.....

Sitting in a room

I wonder and still wonder

It gives me goose bumps

And I turn deaf

To the sounds around

Have I lived my life yet?

Did I dream last night?

I am an addict

I am bonded

I am a slave

And I cry over my love

Fake orgasms

And Victorian mannerisms

I sit and relax

Watch the head going up and down

The captain of the ship

Drives me to a lonely island

Celluloid maddens me

And I sit fingers crossed

And eyes wide open

I need to kill a few animals

Nerves in my brain

And those in my legs

Entangled computer wires

All look the same

Old Postcards: Street in Bangkok

Monday, April 28, 2008

Chungking Express

I came back yesterday,

Scarred all over

The roads pitied me

And the stars

Seduced me

Unheard songs

And aching eyes

Flashing lights

All tried

Briskly touched my soul

And passed by

All names

Still fragile

Mirror and glass

And that paper pile

Reminiscent of a number

in an old Hospital file

Charcoal path and concrete sides

Ask me to be alive

“Go and get a life”

Technology web,

A moralistic site

Like a walk through

An electronic circuit

Chips made hospitable

Trying to match up frequencies and signals

Godot’s rule and

We self execute our

Death programs

And enjoy

Those very sit-coms

Over house popcorn

A few lines written by me on the Copy Aid in my office

They said kill the man

Who breathes and

Drinks and walks and

Sometimes loves “self”

The bodies of those

Dead, stink and

Sometimes question, “god”.

They the gods

Witness and gossip

Eat the flesh

Still insane and still

Running the asylum.

Blank paper’s itch

When I try to study

A blank paper, on a crossroad

Time eats me up as quicksand

I am volatile without a coffin

Fluttering eye and siesta in my veins

A night of pain

And a heart so distant

Too many pictures around

Portraits of strangers

And off season discounts

Flash through the whiteness

Of the blank paper

Stories, poems, songs, sketches

Memoirs and diary entries

Epistolary, novels and sonnets

So much and too many

All in my eyes or just the paper’s itch

I wait, I wait

To understand the mystery,

Of body and mind

Sex and love

Siamese twins

Ciphers disdain these questions

Some ambiguities can’t be deciphered

By a mere itch

Blank paper is just as susceptible

As a crossroad